[Note To Self]

I almost shit a brick when I got my first take-home assignment. The job hunt is a different monster this time around. There are many more steps to go through and many more people to talk to. I’ve done research on companies and their competition, but this is the first time that I was given actual work to do.

To be perfectly honest, I froze for a bit. I also considered withdrawing my application. I was being dramatic, but I needed to get the yips out of my system. I also think that I may have been doubting myself. I won an award at my last job… how in the hell was I unemployed? Yes, I know it wasn’t me… it was a business decision, but am I really sure that it wasn’t me?

After about 20 minutes of arguing with myself, I finally read through the instructions. I was given very detailed instructions, and I was scared. I was scared that I was feeling scared. The take-home assignment wasn’t too different from my previous work. Learn a software/product, explain things about it. Had my self-confidence taken that much of a hit?

Well, it had. But I needed to finish the assignment. I took a deep breath and dug right in. Break the instructions into smaller, bite-sized pieces. Go step by step. Am I stuck? Let’s try the next step. We’ll come back and see if the previous step makes sense now. One foot in front of the other. Keep moving, keep doing. Check your work, and double-check it after you finish. Finalize everything, press submit. We done? Good job!

I didn’t get the job, but I enjoyed doing the work. It was nice, feeling like my old self. My skills are still there, my brain and my system is still built for this.

I know that there are arguments for and against doing work for free, but I needed to get at least one assignment under my belt. I have had a few similar assignments since then, and the process has gone a lot better. I still have a bit of the yips, but I don’t sit in them for too long. I’m still capable and I’ve still got it… I just need someone else to see that.