[Note To Self]

I try to read stories from folks who are in the same boat as I am. We were unexpectedly laid off. We have been at the job search for months. Our confidence in finding a job… well, that varies. I want to say that it inspires me to keep at the job hunt, but to be perfectly honest… there’s just something about shared misery.

I had another phone screen, and I took great care with my preparation process. I noticed that I have a tendency to ramble when asked to talk about myself, so I created a “map” to follow. It would keep me on target and touching the important details, while allowing me to be flexible. I wrote it out in my notes and I practiced it out loud.

I was confident going into the phone screen and I was confident coming out of it. The thing is… when a company is looking to fill a position quickly, the rejection will come quickly, too.

This isn’t new. I’ve gotten to various stages in the interview process. I try to be confident. I try to see myself in that job. I try to manifest it HARD. I get the rejection email. I hurt for a second… then I continue on. Rejection stings but I still need to find a job.

That brings me back to some of the other stories I have read. Folks who have pivoted. Folks who have thrown in the towel. Tech WAS the pivot for me. I haven’t gotten to that point yet, but if all the stories I’ve read are an indicator… perhaps it’s not too far off.

I genuinely hope it doesn’t get there. I loved my work. I loved building. I loved solving. I loved learning. I still believe that there’s a place for me in this industry. But I have to wonder if there IS a limit to how much rejection I can take.

The rejection count is currently at 114 and counting. It might be higher than that…